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Telling someone they’re not good enough is not okay

Telling someone they’re not good enough is not okay

I don’t care if you’re joking. I don’t care if you think ‘It will push them to work harder.’ Because it isn’t a joke, and it will not always make someone want to work harder to prove you wrong.

Sometimes they accept it as a fact, then they live with a mindset of “Why try when I’m just going to fail?”

It’s not okay.


I remember acing my AP European History test and being ecstatic about it until I told my father and he shrugged it off like it was nothing. Then I felt terrible for feeling so proud of myself.

This sort of shit fucks people up man. Perfectionism is not something that can be obtained and it is a horrible, negative schema to get stuck in. No matter how well I did it was never good enough for my mom. “Go get involved! (when I was younger)” “Well now that you’re involved now I have to drive you places…” “Man Tae Kwon Do is getting pretty expensive” “Why would you quit? You quit everything! You’re a quitter.” “Omg why’d you get a B?” “Oh you got all As…eh.” Currently going through therapy to get over this mentality. 

"Everyone else can do this, why can’t you?" "You’re just being lazy, you need to work harder." "No, don’t give me excuses. You failed because you didn’t care enough." "You let yourself fail. You should have seen your partner’s behavior and taken the work load all onto yourself. You let that happen and you let yourself fail." "College is so important and you have to go" ( "I mean, sometimes some people aren’t cut out to go to college." ) "I know you’re capable of more than a C, so why aren’t you doing better." "You’re not trying hard enough to get a job. People probably haven’t called you back because your hair is a strange color" (fyi, it was a sandy blonde). "Why can’t you just do things my way for once."

There’s more where that came from, but I think you get the point. The hilarious part is that my mom always asks “You should come talk to me if you have any problems, okay honey?” Yeah, okay. That’s exactly what I’m going to do after 20 some odd years of that.

THIS. tHIS. THis. This. THIS. this. this x infinity cause this shit is stupid and needs to be stopped and wow.

I understand this situation from the western perspective, however, from an Asian perspective (I’m not representing everyone, but rather those that I have known) this method is used as encouragement.

Asian parents generally don’t follow the “sweet talk” and reward methods of encouragement. Rather they focus on your negatives so you now notice them, so you know where to improve.

While this method has it’s pros and cons, this ideological belief dates back to Confucian teachings that the child has to honour their parents. In addition to this philosophical drive, it is beloved that by “harsher” love, will they drive their children to succeed in life than they, themselves, could achieve.

I know this because my parents pushes me to be a bit more like my brother (he’s more based in science, while I focus on the arts and humanities), because he had better grades. They do this, only because that me and my brother would be the first to graduate from college.

So, not every criticism is meant to put you down. Some cultures just view this differently.

being an Asian, I get this. Doesn’t mean it’s right though. ^^^


why does everyone fight over the iron throne anyway like maybe if it was a massage chair i’d understand







songs that have an amazingly catchy and cool tune but really uncomfortable lyrics


I think we’re all thinking of the same thing but don’t dare speak its name for fear of summoning it.


We don’t talk about it




>teenage actress’s private nudes get leaked

>teenage actress is reviled as a slut and a whore and a bad role model

>james franco asks a seventeen-year-old girl if he can meet her in a private hotel room

>james franco gets to go on saturday night live and joke about what a silly doofus he is for soliciting sex from a girl literally half his age